You’re The Toothpaste, Not The Tube
In the past few years, I have been uncomfortable, unsettled, uncertain and often downright unhappy at times. I felt like I was failing in areas that I used to be successful. I felt like I was losing my passion for certain things that used to light me up. And I was.
I worked HARD to get the opportunities to do things I thought I always wanted to do, and to get in rooms I dreamed to be in. I got there…and to my surprise and discomfort, it didn’t feel the way I thought it would. And I was unhappy. And my light really began to dim.
I remember a specific goal I accomplished somewhat recently. When I did, I realized it didn’t fit. It wasn’t me. I started to doubt myself (HARD) that maybe I would NEVER feel that old passion come back…That I was a failure, not good enough, and my best days were behind me. Maybe I was thinking too big. Maybe I was unrealistic. Y’all…I felt LOST and PROFOUNDLY STUCK.
I feel like we are tubes of toothpaste…we can only get what’s inside of it when we SQUEEZE it.
I believe the squeezing is actually the universes way of redirecting. Like a mother telling a child “no, honey…this isn’t for you. I know you WANT this (fill in the blank), but I know what is best for you and I’m in charge”. And, as in this metaphor, the child wants what it wants, with limited information and may throw a tantrum when Momma doesn’t give in.
I am remembering working through a specific decision where I was feeling my toothpaste tube being squeezed. I reflected on my VALUES. Values are our deepest level of programming and beliefs about who we are. It’s how we spend our time and what we find meaning in. I looked up and realized that my VALUES were not in alignment with my current environment. I was not LIVING my values and over time it was catching up.
My #1 value is POSITIVE IMPACT and I wasn’t honoring it. And then the universe showed up and started to squeeze.
I can tell you the MOMENT the squeeze got strong enough that the toothpaste started to come out. I was uncontrollably crying at my desk. Feeling so stuck. So unhappy. So lost. My husband came downstairs and asked what was the matter? I blurted out my frustrations, fears and sense of failure. I’m talking ugly cry, boogers and bulging veins in the neck kinda cry. He simply said “what are you doing? Why are doing doing it then?”
I pulled out my value list. Saw the clear breaches in my current environment and made an IMMEDIATE decision. I abandoned that goal (even thought I worked hard to get it). In my crying fit my kids jumped in. I told them how hard I had worked to reach this goal, and how sad I was that I was going to decide to leave it. From the mouth of wise babes, they redirected me with a simple “well, if you didn’t actually reach the goal, how would you ever know it wasn’t for you”. Brilliant. Effing Brilliant.
Now, I can offer you this from my own experience…
The joy, fulfillment, happiness and sense of purpose you will feel in PURSUIT of what is RIGHT for you, will drastically outweigh crossing the finish line and accomplishing what is WRONG for you.
If your feeling SQUEEZED, know the good stuff is being pushed out and welcome it. Trust that.
Your the TOOTHPASTE, not the tube. And by tube I mean: house, job, car, money, etc.
Sending so much love,
MB
