When is the last time you faced your FEAR?
When is the last time you faced your FEAR! I mean you got into the total discomfort of sweaty palms, pounding heart, dropping stomach kind of fear?
For me? It was last Friday at my annual forum retreat for entrepreneurs with Entrepreneurs Organization #eoboston.
I joined the CIRCUS!!! Well, not really but for 2 hours I had the awesome experience of learning from a REAL circus performer! Silks, Bars, TRAPEZE! Now, I have always had a debilitating FEAR of HEIGHTS! Anything above table level was a NO GO! And yet, here I am swinging from SILKS!
Here is what I learned…
#1 Know the GOAL (what, specifically do you want)
For me, I knew anything other than table height was pushing me beyond my comfort zone…so I decided that I would commit to STANDING UP on the floating silks, and I would CLIMB the ladder all the way to the TOP to the trapeze platform. My goal wasn’t to actually swing…it’s ok to know where your boundary is.
#2 know the WHY
The theme of the retreat was to “Embrace the Uncomfortable “. Facing fears is something I help others do as a Transformational Coach, so it felt it was important that I am willing to do it too (ya know, that integrity thing). So actually, my clients (past, present and future) were my WHY!
#3 Have a Role Model for excellence
One of the foundations of NLP is based on modeling. Who has done it before and learn the strategies, patterns, habits, etc.
In this experience I had an amazing role model. She was a high energy, 5 foot tall, probably mid 40’s Canadian woman who performs Ariel stunts in Cirque De Soleil type events. She had a beaming smile, and a body that was made out of cement. I didn’t know muscles could 
look like that!
#4 Supportive Environment
This experience was facing my fear of heights through circus training. But the reality is we face our fears in various ways, every day don’t we? Maybe it’s making a sales call when your afraid of the response on the other end. Maybe it’s fear of starting a new career, relationship, or health goal. Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown in stepping OUT of something your currently in.
Either way..Fear is fear and this rule still applies.
The environment you are in has EVERYTHING to do with your success. Do the people around you encourage you, support you and push you towards what you want? Or do they pull you back because your staying the same feels safer for them?
My circus experience was filled with the most supportive people I could imagine. Looking down to see them smiling from ear to ear, shouting words of encouragement when I was scared beyond words, beaming smiles and snapping pictures like they were proud parents at my 3rd grade dance recital…all pushed me to keep going. Who is in your tribe when you step into the uncomfortable?
#. Don’t Compare
So, in full transparency, I was the only one in our group of 8 that didn’t attempt the actual Trapeze. Every other person successfully jumped off that platform and all I did was climb the damn ladder!
Then I remembered that Comparison is the THIEF of JOY. We weren’t the same people with the same starting point, experiences and fears. My climbing the tall ladder WAS success based on my definition. Had I got stuck comparing myself to everyone else, I would have felt (and did for a hot minute) “less than”, not good enough, blah blah blah. Once I realized that I determine what success looks like FOR ME, I could celebrate and be proud of myself. Interestingly enough, no one around me was comparing…they were just cheering on a friend who was doing her best to push past being higher than standing on a table 
. All the judgement on me was coming FROM ME.
And I wonder, how many times do we do this in our daily lives?
Well if you got this far, THANK YOU for that. I hope you can take these 5 steps as you move through your own moments of discomfort and fear. And, I truly hope it helps you to suit up and strut into the opportunities that you want, but may be afraid to try.
Trust me…I’m an authority on this. After all, I did just join the circus 
