Are You Rich…or Just Richer Than Your Neighbor?
Title: Are You Rich… or Just Richer Than Your Neighbor?
Have you ever caught yourself looking over the metaphorical fence at someone else’s life, only to suddenly feel a little “less than”? Maybe your career was on fire… until your friend posted about their vacation in Bali and their big promotion. In a blink, your joy morphs into comparison, and you’re left wondering, “Am I doing enough?”
Trust me, you’re not alone.
There’s a fascinating study by economists Sara Solnick and David Hemenway at Harvard that digs into this exact phenomenon. They asked students a simple (yet revealing) question:
Would you rather:
- Earn $50,000 a year while everyone else earns $25,000,
or- Earn $100,000 a year while everyone else earns $200,000?
Logically, you’d think everyone would choose more money, right? But nope. More than half of the students picked the first option—they’d rather make less as long as they made more than everyone else. Wild, right?
But also… kinda human.
The Comparison Trap Is Real
Comparison isn’t new. It’s wired into us. It’s how we gauge success, social standing, and sometimes, self-worth. But here’s the kicker: when we constantly measure ourselves against others, we rob ourselves of peace, purpose, and perspective. It’s like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst—the more you consume, the worse you feel.
Key Insight: Comparison Thrives in the Absence of Clarity
When we’re unclear about our own goals, values, and definition of success, it’s easy to get pulled into someone else’s story. That’s where the real danger lies—not in admiration or inspiration, but in distortion.
So how do we stop this sneaky sabotage?
4 Strategies to Minimize Comparison and Reclaim Your Joy
1. Know Your Own Metrics Ask yourself: What does success actually look like for me? Maybe it’s flexibility, maybe it’s impact, maybe it’s peace of mind. If you don’t define it, the world will define it for you—loudly.
2. Curate Your Inputs Your brain is like a garden. If you keep planting seeds of comparison (aka doom scrolling), don’t be surprised when weeds of inadequacy start popping up. Audit your social media, conversations, and even the people you hang around.
3. Celebrate Progress, Not Just Peaks Keep a “wins” journal or make it a habit to reflect weekly on what’s working. Momentum comes from recognizing movement, not just milestones.
4. Get Coached Up This is where coaching can truly change the game. A good coach helps you untangle your goals from the noise of comparison. Together, we create clarity, break limiting beliefs, and build strategies grounded in your values. Not your sister’s. Not your neighbor’s. Yours.
Your Life, Your Race
Comparison is a thief. It steals not just joy, but direction. The Solnick and Hemenway study is a wake-up call that even the smartest among us can fall into the trap of “better than” instead of “better for me.”
So here’s your gentle nudge: check in. Are you chasing your dream or someone else’s highlight reel?
If you’re ready to quiet the noise, reconnect with what actually matters, and build a path that’s unapologetically yours—I’m here for it. Coaching isn’t just about performance. It’s about perspective. And sometimes, that shift is all we need to go from stuck to unstoppable.
Let’s do this, one bold, comparison-free step at a time.
— MB 💥
